Thankfully over?

Before i start ranting about all the things which deserve the least attention as expected from an 'Indian citizen' let me abase myself on how irregular and lazy i have become.The exams have got over at least a week before and by this time I could have easily immersed my pen for ravening writing sessions but alas!it was not meant to be.

The exams though weren't as good as they should have been but nevertheless, I had a wonderful time giving them.It gave me a hint of what I could have achieved had I paid even the least attention it deserves in my life.I have always been vocal about the displeasure about the way our education system runs and hence the sarcasm.Anyways, my college days have ended, unless the moderators,with due respect to them,think of putting me up for an encore.

Amid the chaos about India winning the World Cup,Anna Hazare fasting to get the Lokpal Bill introduced and many other scams that must have took place(We live in India,it thrives on scams) I bid adieu to my exams and boy!I feel terrible about them being over.I think that was the only time i had purpose to fulfill and several stranger who later on became my exam buddies and whom succeeded in filling up a jar of positive vibrations that have been hard to come by.

Suddenly after a hectic schedule of exams,late night study,exams,study,exams,pee,study,eat,study,exams etc. Finally, it seems as though there is a certain emptiness.I feel like a hopeless creature out here trying to understand the complexities within four walls of my room and holding grudge against them as usual would be expected from me.

It gives me an opportunity to know one thing about myself,something that I should have known way back without much difficulty.When I have been alone and without a purpose I have been terrible. Not that many have seen be any fruitful though.

My uncanny ability during this time lies in not being able to feed myself with quick decisions that could prosper my academic and personal growth.Its like me losing my two legs and sitting hopelessly under the sun waiting for the rain to kiss me and I bet the feeling is more disgusting than the comparison.Its a huge pressure to decide what I want to do with what i could have become to what i should have done by now.

But while the observations are out, there is a stark feeling that they are only here to stay like my addiction with the computer games who really get the most of the timeI still cant do anything to fight it except for to rue about it.

If only i had a purpose to fill,
a clear goal to prove my skill,
a proper course that would fit the bill.......
if only........

I wish the exams would continue,only then would it justify the flow of my life which has been reduced to a snail-paced race against the competitive world of stereotypes, all of whom deserve to defeat me in their race to 'SUCCESS' as they define it and I fail to justify. 

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