My Nostalgia

While sitting down on a not so bright morning to write something, I secretly hope no one reads yet gives me a source to pour my juvenile feelings. I suddenly reminisce about the moments which made me happy then and yet have the force to trouble me now as I write them. The surprise drizzling in the morning doesn't make my nostalgia feel lazy but on the contrary, it awakens me from my slumber.

My heart feels heavy as the hazy day reminds me of the time when my school reopened. I clearly recall having asked my mom, "Mom, why does the school reopen at a time when such a lousy morning is tempting me to sleep?" Quite used to my futile tantrums, Mom just rolled her eyes in disgust to the inane question, making her displeasure known. I immediately got up from my bed and began to think of all the possible ways of missing the first day.

I thought, "Its raining cats and dogs and am praying the providence to bestow its kindness on my feeling and make it impossible for the school bus to reach our place; that way it wouldn't be hard to miss the school, but alas! It wasn’t meant to be the day of acknowledging innocent wishes.I reached the school feeling disgusted with him for not having listened to me and promised not to glorify him further by praying, but, it hardly occurred to my dumb heart that today would be the day I would want to thank him for at least my next four years if not anymore.

The first days in all the schools are always meant to be some sort of castigation. You are literally treated as a prisoner and if you are a guy, it means you are one! In our case, we were made to sit besides a girl because teachers thought that was the best way of keeping us silent (as if it mattered!)   

I quickly gazed over my surroundings to see if there was any scope of further communication for the rest of my grades and I noticed a girl sitting before me glancing the same way. I smiled at her, she winked at me and my heart started pounding for no apparent reason. I shied away on pretext of arranging my books, though I thought it was mutual. She looked beautiful in our innocent pink and black uniform, I thought. She perhaps had the best smile I had ever seen in my life.

The next day I literally thanked the God for not listening to me. I thought of some or the other reasons of talking to her and I gladly noticed that she wasn't bored of me. In fact she was gladly acknowledging the conversation, something that was quite unusual and had occurred only out of compulsion or sympathy.

I was the happiest guy whenever her partner remained absent because that way i could sit next to her. I could notice the blush on her face on such occasions, but I was tired of such rare occasions. One morning it occurred to our professor (I still thank him) that I was shorter than her partner and we had to exchange our places. My joy knew no bounds although it was really hard for me to understand the relationship i was sharing with my new partner. The constant attempts to impress her by finishing her notes even while i hadn't finished mine, trying to answer in the class and then glancing from the corner of the eye if she was watching me didn’t help much though it certainly helped my grades. It was surprising to note that whenever I used to chat with a girl she would keep a frown look on her face and it was the all the same with me. I loved every bit of it though.

These were some of the moments that i really cherished, the sweet memories it brought and crucial part is when you realise life would never be the same again. Finding the heart wrapped with innocence, being devoid of lust, but only love will never be so easy.